Most days in the afternoon I go for a walk with the Elegant Lady and the Gentle Man. Usually I've been sleeping all day. By four o'clock it is time to stretch my limbs, check out my territory, and spend some time with my humans.
You have to realise that humans are cumbersome things. They are very tall, yet walk on their hind legs. Imagine keeping this huge body upright all the time..... No wonder they are slow. Mind you, they are very good at some things, like opening doors and giving me massages. When it comes to running and jumping, though, they are useless.
Most afternoons we have a race. I do give them a fair advantage. I wait until they are far ahead, then thunder after them, race past and climb the nearest tree. There, I'll patiently wait for them to catch up. 'Oh Mooch, you are such a show-off', she always says. Nope, they are just plain slow. The fact that they wear big wellies (against snakes apparently) and hold a glass of 'bubblies' probably doesn't help.
I'll let you in on a well-known secret amongst felines. 'The Hare and the Tortoise' was based on a true story. Originally, it involved a cat and a human. However, a cat would never be as silly as the hare, who took a nap in the middle of the race. No, a cat would simply win the race, or find something better to do, such as take a nap, climb a tree, or chase a mouse. In that case, the race would be off, but NO cat would lose the race.
Strangely, humans didn't find our story exciting nor flattering, so they turned it into 'The Hare and the Tortoise'. They also found the story more meaningful this way.
Now the humans teach it to their young and mumble something about 'pride'. They seem to think it is a bad thing, but I have a hard time following their logic. No, I think they completely killed the story. I think the original story of 'The Cat and the Human' is much more meaningful. It simply illustrates that if you get bored with some rules, you change them. We felines fail to see the point in abiding by rules that turn you into a loser. No, you simply change the rules, and use them to your advantage. THAT is living life the 'feline way'!